Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Male Stripper's Take on Julien Blanc's Tactics

Julien Blanc. Age 26.


Unless you're a fugitive from justice living in the hills, you've probably heard of the international dating expert, Julien Blanc, by now. His seminar about approaching Japanese women (and women in general) has become quite the controversial fodder for the media to feed on lately. Some people consider his unorthodox methods bordering on the realm of sexual assault. Don't take my word for it; watch the video here:





There's a full, unedited version of the video here.

Given the nature of the internet, people online often cut snippets of what someone says or does and edits them to manipulate the message to further a specific agenda. Therefore, I gave Julien Blanc the benefit of the doubt and sought an unedited version of his seminar about Japanese girls to see if his critics were twisting his message. They weren't. Julien Blanc's methods are some of the most filthy ways to "pick up" women short of slipping pills into their drinks.

As a male stripper, I earn money based on my ability to appeal and entertain women on a universal level. After over ten years on the job, I feel that I'm somewhat versed in the subject and find that my best interactions with women result from a mutual respect, meaning we both like each other and try to make the other person happy. In fact, I can attribute the majority of my success of career and dating from amiable reciprocation.

So believe me when I say this, but the advice depicted in the above video doesn't work. Relying on treating another human being with outright disrespect solely for personal gain will make you a hated person really quick, which defeats the purpose of "seducing" women because the whole point is to make them like you.

Also, most of Blanc's tactics would possibly land you criminal charges if you were to try that in public. Grabbing a girl's head and forcing it towards your crotch against her will is called "lewd and lascivious" where I'm from. Others call it "assault" or even "battery." Granted, perhaps he was already hanging out with these girls and they were cool with it, but even if they were, he was trying to portray to the audience something like, "Hey, look at me! This bitch is on my dick. I'm cool now!"

Notice near the end of the video where he's grabbing women or trying to kiss the cashier at the store, the girls are trying to GET AWAY from him. He's telling guys that this shit is "super effective" with girls, but it's not. The Japanese girls in the video look fearful, as if unsure of how to react at the sudden assault. Some of the girls were laughing because they were extremely nervous. That cashier looked trapped, like she wanted to be somewhere else but there. This crap isn't picking girls up. It's sexual harassment, plain and simple. Again, maybe he needed some "shocking material" to catch viewers attention. In that case, he was successful...

You may ask, "But Dion, don't you put your crotch in girls' faces at your bachelorette parties?" Yes, but there's a huge difference. It's consensual. Not just verbally, but I watch the body language and the girl's reaction. If she doesn't want me on her, I move onto somebody else. I even tell a girl to let me know if she doesn't want to participate. Another thing is that these girls are paying for me to pull these stunts, which I only do on willing participants. Julien Blanc finds unwilling participants who don't even know him, and he downright molests them.

If you're one of those guys who actually thinks Blanc's methods work (you probably paid to attend his seminar too, right?), then do yourself a favor and look at the female comments on all of his dating advice videos on Youtube. None of them have anything good to say about the guy. If the general public has that opinion on such tactics, then common sense should dictate that it's time to try something else!

Now I've worked in Japanese as an English teacher for almost two years and became almost fluent in Japanese. I would even boast that I understand Japanese culture a lot better than the average Westerner. I've dated and hooked up with a few Japanese girls while I was over there, and even had my own Japanese girl fan club where I worked (that's a story for another time). I managed to attract Japanese girls by acting like a gentleman and treating them well. I assure you that I did not grab a girl's head and guided to my dick, or try to forcefully kiss a random store clerk.

Julien Blanc aims at Japanese girls because they are less confrontational (on average) than their western counterparts, making them easier targets to prey upon. They're less likely to beat your ass and scream at you if you try to kiss them forcefully in public. His other videos claim that if a girl outright says, "no!" then to back away. Well, some of these girls freeze up and might not be able to say no. I can tell by the those Japanese girls' body language in that video that they're screaming, "NO!!"

The PUAs market their "dating expertise" as a one-size-fits-all glove. They'll tell you that your looks, body type, income, and social status don't matter because it's all about "the game" and your approach (I'll pull of a few examples later on this). They'll tell you that you can get a "perfect ten" by attitude alone. Why do they do this? Because it's the path of least resistance. It's easier to change the words you say to someone than to change your lifestyle, daily habits, and job. Do you think a pickup artist would get more sales if he claimed that you'd get more girls if you looked good, owned a house, and worked as a doctor? Hell no, because not everyone can look good, own a home, and be a doctor.

So for you guys out there looking to get women, stop idolizing and following garbage spouted by these self-proclaimed "dating experts" or PUAs in attempted to "seduce the hottest girls." Getting a girl is a very dynamic process that changes with each individual, and can't be summed up by some pre-planned approach. There is no pickup advice shaped like a one-size-fits-all glove. Each girl has her own taste for men, and finds different traits appealing.

Some people have argued with me on this and said, "But Dion, you have muscles and you strip and model... It's easy for you to get girls!" Well, I didn't always have muscles, and I couldn't keep a girlfriend in high school to save my life. My prom date ditched me at prom because she was embarrassed to be seen with me. Then I started working out, cleaned up my appearance, and dressed better. My chances improved. I graduated college and got a teaching job. My chances improved even more. I own my own house, got an even better job, and started hoarding savings for retirement. My chances are better than ever. And I'm constantly looking for ways to improve myself even now.

See the pattern? You build yourself, you'll build your attraction. You should always be a constant work in motion.

Julien Blanc doesn't teach this. Instead, he teaches men to take the wrong attitude with women, and look where that got him. Just Google his name. You'll see.



Monday, November 17, 2014

Short and Out of Shape

From Eddie M.


Dion,
Have questions for you about male stripping, im currently 22 years of age and after watching Magic Mike, i dont know why but it inspired me to  become a stripperz,i guess becomes i always been a ladies man, sometimes give lap dances to my girl friends at partys/clubs, not to sound cocky but im attractive, my concerns are im short 5'4, out of shape, so my questions are is there a certain height requirement? What type of body do you have to have to be considered to be hireable by an agent/company's  or get gigs



Eddie,

Being a male stripper has many perks--the limelight, the women, the fun, and easy money--and I can see why the job is appealing to you. However, you have several issues that will prevent you from getting a job.

Problem #1: Your cocky attitude as demonstrated in this quote "not to sound cocky, but I'm attractive... I always been a ladies' man..."  Confidence is a good thing to have, but arrogance will ruin you in this job unless you have a really great look backed up by a deep pool of talent. Many women will seize that arrogance as a chance to verbally pounce on you and bring your ego down several notches. As a common rule, you let the women determine if you're attractive, not the other way around.

Problem #2: You sound like you want this job to satisfy your own pleasure rather than what the customers want. Most companies will get that vibe from you. You need to understand that girls pay a lot of money for a male stripper, so they expect their money's worth of entertainment. If you cannot provide that, then you'll face a roomful of jeering girls. The scenes in Magic Mike sound like fun, but those girls aren't going to fall into the palm of your hand for nothing.

Problem #3: Your age. Most agencies prefer guys who are 25 years or older due to their more mature nature. Younger guys tend to be more unreliable, irresponsible, and cause more problems in general. That's not always the case, of course. I started this job when I was 21.

Problem #4: Your appearance. Your e-mail linked to your Google+ account, which had a face portrait of you sporting a  thug-like style--baseball cap worn backwards and to the side, head cocked to the side as though you're trying to imitate a badass attitude. That style may work with your circle of friends, but most female customers have professional jobs (or husbands/boyfriends who are very well established) and will view you like an insecure boy who's trying to act tough.

Out of shape? No problem! Your competition isn't.
Problem #5: As you've claimed, you're out of shape. If you're doing a male revue, imagine being out of shape and standing next to three muscular studs. The girls are flocking to them and ignoring you. Sounds pretty demoralizing, doesn't it? It is. I've seen it happen, and I cringed out of sympathy. You don't want to be THAT guy. You better hit the gym now.

Now everything above is fixable. You can change your appearance, attitude, your muscularity, and you'll eventually mature (hopefully). You cannot fix your next problem...

Problem #6: Height. At 5'4", you'll be shorter than most girls. When you pose for pictures, they will tower over you. In fact, height is the number one complaint against a male stripper (besides punctuality). Just as guys don't want to see a 400 lbs. female stripper, girls don't want to hire a manlet, unless it's a midget stripper per special requests, which you're too tall to be in this case. Also, you won't be able to do any large male revue acts, since they often have a minimum height requirement of 5'10" to 6'0".

Don't let your height discourage you though. I have actually met a male stripper who was 5'4", but he had a hulking bodybuilder physique, a good face, and a soft-spoken personality that appealed to quieter girls. Therefore, his strengths compensated for his flaws.

If you think I'm being tough, then understand that I'm giving you realistic answers. Agents and customers alike will notice these issues with you and address them in a much ruder way. Some women will plain ole insult you. Popularity with a few ladies in your social circle doesn't equate to universal appeal across the spectrum. The last thing you want to do is go out there and embarrass yourself.

As of right now you don't have a shot, at least when it comes to stripping for women. You might think you do, otherwise you wouldn't have e-mailed me, but you really don't. Work on those problems I listed and then try again. Take all of this criticism as a means to improve yourself.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Time I had Sex with a Male Stripper - Fiona Ellis


(Dion's note: This isn't my story. It was taken from The Fat City Review. You can see the original page here. I put this story up because it demonstrates a female perspective of these encounters, albeit a negative one in this circumstance. There will be a follow up post with my comments about this story.)


The Time I had Sex with a Male Stripper - Fiona Ellis


I went to see Magic Mike at the movie theater on opening night.  The movie itself was okay, but Channing Tatum’s dance moves were the highlight.  As I watched him gyrate onscreen my mind kept wandering back to my very own encounter with a male stripper.   I went to the movies with new friends and did not want to share the story with them, still too embarrassed about the incident, even though it happened almost ten years ago.  Only a few people know the truth of the night with the stripper.

The year was 2003 and I was in my last year at a small liberal arts college in Massachusetts.  I had preceded my final year with three years of equal parts drunkenness and an earnest interest in getting my English Literature degree.  Nights at the library were often followed by nights at dive bars, making eyes at the unsavory man with whom I shared classes, and later, in the early morning hours, finding myself either in a state of undress or at the take-out Chinese restaurant that was open for business until 4am.  It is only now that I can truly appreciate the sense that, at that moment in time, I was just like everyone else, displaying the kind of unabashed debauchery that only comes when I think I have nothing to lose and a future laid out for me; a future that will no doubt bring me money, success, and love.

In the first month of school my six roommates and I, barely able to furnish our apartment, found ourselves responsible for planning our friend Emily’s 21st birthday party.  Emily was the last of our group to celebrate this milestone birthday and we wanted to do something different.

At a serious brainstorming session, one of proportions only equivalent to that of United Nations peace talks, we decide to hire a male stripper.

A week later, twenty five girls gather in our small apartment.  We toss back Bud Lights and enjoy the soft buzz of anticipation spreading through the party as everyone, except the birthday girl, learn of the surprise we have planned for the evening.

There is a knock at the door and the stripper is standing there, not wearing a costume like a police uniform, firefighter gear, or army fatigues, but instead is in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  He has a shaved head, cut arms and chest, and a small, tight ass.  The group is excited and drunk.  He asks for a place to change and I show him into my bedroom.  Within seconds he changes and emerges from the bedroom wearing a red g-string.  He immediately starts dancing for us, exhibiting his obvious skills as a performer as he bends and twists his body.  As if he was a gymnast in a former life, he twists his body in different and inexplicable directions.  We hoot and holler, giddy from the beer, and watch the nimble contortionist in a banana hammock dance in our living room.

The next day we would learn that our male neighbors, who live a few doors down from us, could hear us cheering and chanting, as we screamed with delight and disbelief at the stripper’s dance moves.  Our male neighbors appear uncomfortable when they tell us they could hear the wickedness of our voices.  They look at us, their sweet and respectable female friends, and they are rendered almost speechless at the idea that we could get riled up by a naked male ass.

The stripper continues to energize the crowd and then suggests private lap dances for the birthday girl and whoever else has the cash to stick into his red g-string.  I grab a chair from the kitchen and put it in the birthday girl’s room.  She goes in alone with him and we try to subdue ourselves by waiting outside, ears pressed against the door.  One of the party guests decides to break into the lap dance room and the party moves into the bedroom as we watch the stripper put his leg over the birthday girl’s shoulder, his crotch a few inches from her face, sweat pouring down his back.  Then he looks at me, and says, “You are next.”

I blush.  His eye contact is unnerving and I feel both appalled and flattered.   The birthday girl runs out of the room and suddenly I am sitting in the chair.  The moments are hazy and I had questionable judgment due to my high intake of alcoholic beverages.  He picks me up, no easy feat, and puts his mouth next to my ear.

“Do you want me to stay and hang out?” he asks me.

I am taken aback by his question.   Confusion sets in.  Why is he asking to hang out with me?  Initially I think that he is a professional, merely singling me out and complimenting me because I look like fun and will give him the few singles I have crumpled in my hand.  A part of me supposes, or hopes, that I entice him and appear so irresistible that he wants to sleep with me.  It suddenly becomes a game.  Out of all the girls at the party, the male stripper wants to spend more time with me.  The alcohol does not allow me to make a lucid decision and I enjoy the drama of the possibility.  I am going to sleep with a male stripper.  When will I ever have this chance again?  I question myself.  This is a sort of test of my limitations.  Am I ready to go this far?  I crave the adrenaline rush of my possible riskiness.

“Sure,” I tell him, “if you want to stay.”

He and I make a quiet agreement and I sneak out to tell my roommates.  They are used to my dubious decisions and patiently request that we send him home.  I say okay to them but know that I will later blame the alcohol for my decision to sneak the stripper into my room.  Truthfully I know that it is not the alcohol but the pursuit of the high I get from lying to my friends that causes me to make my decision.  Later when I tell them the truth of what happened between me and the male stripper, I will watch their faces express shock and dismay at my actions.

The sex is forgettable and sweaty.  Halfway through the act I can barely contain my repulsion with myself.  I am disgusted, not with him, but with my inability to turn down his offer for sex.  After he finishes, we lay in my bed and he tells me about his ex-girlfriend and how he is heartbroken about their recent break-up.  With his head on my arm, he talks and I barely listen.  Instead I look up at the ceiling and pray for the moment when I can interrupt his story and tell him politely that I want him to leave.

Eventually, he leaves.  For the next week, I shower at night, after my roommates have gone to sleep.  And each night I cry, hoping the sound of the water will muffle my pathetic weeping.  I recognize that I have no one to blame but myself for my actions.  My friends had attempted to stifle my need for the thrill of having gratuitous sex.  It is not the sex that I wanted; instead it is the spectacle, the very strangeness of the fact that I have now had sex with a male stripper.  For years I can’t decide if it’s a humorous anecdote to tell friends, or something sad that happened—an incident in my past that I wish to forget.   I still do not know where I stand.  The reality is that I had sex with a male stripper.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Critiquing Applicants - Part 2

Welcome again to another series of "Critiquing Applicants." Once again, several men feel that they are sexy enough to perform in front of a crowd of ladies at $200 an hour. Lucky for you, the reader, and me, one of my agents was kind (or mean) enough to forward me another batch of applicants. Let's see how they fare.

Male Stripper Applicant #82


Stage Name: None Provided

Instead of following directions, this particular applicant attached a few pictures and wrote this message that is really just a long run-on sentence:

hey im Bob (real name changed) ive been doing this myself and with my gf for a year or so we need more work so i thought you may be able to help im 21 6foot8 220lb ican dance spin poi/fire and even do some DJ work 

Judging by the pictures he provided, I can see why he needs more work. He also needs to work on his writing skills; I've seen grade school children put out better writing.

Here's what my agent said: "It's funny when applicants lie about their experience. He claims that he and his girlfriend have been stripping for a year, but he doesn't seem to even know what being a male stripper is about. And the so-called "girlfriend" didn't apply for job, but he's claiming she needs work too. If she were real, wouldn't she have applied too?"

Besides those suspicions, there are several more glaring problems here. First, this guy looks like he had never spent a day in the gym; no visible abs, flat chest, thin arms, and poor taste in tattoos. Seriously, what is with the tattoo on his chest? His pose looks like a feminine slouch. He also fails to show his legs in the pics too, but one can assume that they lack the chiseled refinery just like the rest of his body.

He does have a few good things though. Being tall in this profession is always a good thing, but he's more like a lanky Sasquatch at 6'8" than a stripper. His facial aesthetics are good enough, and he probably may look the part in clothes...until he strips, of course. The strip-o-gram companies don't need DJs, but if he can spin fire, then that's a pretty cool trick for showmanship, although a private bachelorette party wouldn't want him to burn down their living room.

Overall, there really isn't any way an agent can justify charging women for this guy. He didn't follow directions, he doesn't have costumes, and he doesn't fit the requirements. If he is a male stripper, as he claims, then he probably works at a gay club and markets himself as a twink, because the bachelorette parties tend to require more muscular guys.

Final Verdict: REJECTED




"Can be ripped in ten days"
Male Stripper Applicant #87

Stage Name: Slim Goodbody

Slim Goodbody's choice of a stage name is ironic. His e-mails to the company are even better.

Here's his opening message in reference to employment:

Love it
Give me a call (phone number omitted)
That was it. No other information; no pictures. He left a phone number without an area code. Slim must have never met anyone outside his town, because he would know that an area code is required.

On a side note, this example is a great way to stay unemployed. Never contact an employer with such an unprofessional attitude and demand they call you, even if it is a job like stripping. Follow the directions, gauge what the company is looking for, and communicate in a professional and polite manner. Slim's opening message was downright rude.

Nevertheless, my agent gave Slim a short response about following directions and never expected to hear from him again, but lo and behold, Slim responded with his pictures and information:

Real name: Provided
Location: Provided
Date-of-birth: NOT provided (hiding something, Slim?)
Transportation: Yes
Phone number: Provided, but without area code
Stage name: Slim Goodbody
Height: 6'5"

He attached his pictures and included the following message.

"Can be ripped in ten days"


Now judging from his picture, there is no way he can shred enough body fat in ten days to look "ripped." Even if that were possible, Slim lacks the muscle mass to look the part for the job. He, as his stage name implies, is too slim for the job in terms of muscularity.

Slim Goodbody over 15 years ago.
Slim should have gotten ripped first, then applied. Not the other way around. That's like applying for an top-paid engineer position without a degree or any experience and saying, "Well, I can get my engineering degree in four years." Get your qualifications in order before you apply.

We're not done just yet. Slim provided one more picture for the agency to review, which is listed on the right.

There are several things wrong with this photo. First of all, it was obviously taken a while ago, perhaps in Slim's glory days of being in shape and on the basketball team. Second, it shows possible deception on Slim's part, like he's trying to impress upon the viewer that he's a superb athlete. Maybe he was a superb athlete, but that was in the past. Sorry, Slim. Showing the old photo tactic might have worked back towards the beginning of the millennium, but people have caught on now.

Final Verdict: REJECTED





Male Stripper Applicant #90

Stage Name: Golden Boy

Golden Boy followed directions and sent in several pictures. Given the insufficient quality of most male applicants, my agent was pleasantly surprised with this one.

According to the pictures, Golden Boy has a great look, overall. He has the face of a model, and any company could market him based off a head shot alone. Some girls request blonde guys, so he could fill that particular niche too.

Golden Boy is in decent shape, but he is far from top tier in this industry. He doesn't show his legs in any picture. He could fill out his frame some more and tone those abs, because he'd pale in comparison against most of the other established male strippers out there. Under normal circumstances, an agency would dock points for these shortcomings in his physique, but his facial aesthetics more than compensate. Golden Boy is a prime example of how good looks can offset other weaknesses.

Then my agent interviewed him.

"He's only twenty-two and still wet behind the ears," my agent said.

Age can be a touchy issue for male strippers. Agents tend to shirk away from younger guys (under 25) due to a lack of maturity and work ethic.

Here's what another agent summed up about younger guys: "They show up late, or cancel at the last minute, or they use the parties as their personal hookup joint. Whatever it is, they're either unreliable or cause trouble."

Still, Golden Boy has potential in the industry. The agent told him to build up a bit more muscle mass, especially in the chest area, and work on the abs. At 5'11", Golden Boy stands at a good height, and probably won't get complained on. However, most of the work will go to a more established stripper in the area unless Golden Boy can prove himself the better candidate.

Golden Boy has no experience either. Usually, many high-end companies prefer guys with experience, and some only hire guys with experience. They'll make exceptions for the right guy and put him through training and give him a trial run to see if he works out. If the customers like him, and he proves reliable, then he can stay with the company and take bookings on his own.

Final Verdict: HIRED UNDER PROBATIONARY CONDITIONS




Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Does It Suck To Be A Male Stripper?

My experience being a male stripper is generally a positive one. This profession has garnered me a lot of money and enjoyment over the years. I often have a great relationship with my customers and an upbeat outlook on the profession. Not all guys in the industry share my enthusiasm, though. One former NYC male stripper, who appeared in this article on The Gothamist, has a more depressing take.



He described the male stripping industry as a "gateway of sorts," which results in rampant drug and alcohol abuse, especially if you already indulge in drugs and alcohol. Now I have witnessed this phenomenon with my own eyes, watching guys take their night's earnings and blow it all vice-related activities, so I'm aware that it goes on in some circles. He further elaborates on the "types of sluts who bangs strippers," describing them as "cum dumpsters" or girls with daddy issues." He said this in reference to weekend work: "I realized that all those weekends I lost I could have been on LEGIT dates with girls that I could have cultivated deep relationships with."

The article in The Gothamist summed up his quotes very well here:

He said his various gigs as "very Groundhogs day like." He notes that a lot of women are uncomfortable having fully-naked men in their homes, even when they're strippers. He claims that stripping destroyed his dating life. He believes working as a stripper "will further accentuate that lower self esteem in the long run...Fact is you are not developing self respect or esteem...you are exploiting a facade...you are exploiting something that isn't true."

Just listening to this guy makes you find the job to be sad and not-so-glamorous. It's quite the opposite take on my experience, which has a more sunny outlook. Now this difference may result from our different personalities and lifestyle, but location can also play a role. This guy stripped around NYC. I stripped in the Dirty South. Our clientele were different. Perhaps mine treated me better over the years. Who knows?

What I do know is that I have spoken to the guy via e-mail and talked about the profession a bit. He seems to be a pretty nice guy, but with a bad experience from the job. He asked me, "Don't you get tired of it all, brother? I mean, doesn't being on call every weekend like a doctor get old?"

Not really. Perhaps it's just my outlook on life, but I don't think being a male stripper sucks.

Instead of viewing the gig as a perpetual Groundhog Day of the same ole shit, I take a rock band performance approach. I view my female customers in a manner similar to a crowd of fans purchasing tickets to see their favorite band perform, such as Metallica. I travel to the location and perform for an hour with a whole list of activities, once again, similar to Metallica performing for two or three hours with a whole list of songs. I elicit crowd participation in attempt to create a memorable show that these girls will talk about and remember. I want to see them cheer, laugh, smile, and have an overall good time. Doing all of this gives a sense of purpose to the job.

In turn, a sense of purpose in the job is what promotes happiness and satisfaction in what you do. Drugs, alcohol, and random acts of sex don't give people a deep sense of purpose in life. Doing those things on a daily basic will result in the Groundhog Day effect where you're just going through the motions of life, but never really accomplishing anything.

I used to treat stripping as a means to an end, whether it be money, girls, or self-esteem boost. As a result, my performances left me with an empty feeling at the end. The sex flings on the job didn't enhance my life once I got home to my empty apartment.

That all changed once I tried to produce a good show. Hearing a party of girls say, "Dion, we had the most awesome time with you," gives me a lot more satisfaction than a mere twenty dollar tip (although the tip is nice!). Eventually, I'll spend that twenty dollars and it'll be forgotten, but I won't forget the smiles of gratitude from the party.

The bottom line is to take pride in doing a job well-done, rather than seeing your job as a means to an end. Find reasons to enjoy your work. Once I committed myself to making my customers happy, my own happiness increased so now a night at work almost guarantees to put me in a good mood.